So my poor mom has been in the hospital. She started with a cold and through a (not so funny) comedy of errors, she ended up with pneumonia, 3 broken ribs (from coughing), and some internal bleeding. She's on day 3 in the hospital and wants desperately to go home. They've got everything under control and she's feeling better, but her heart is racing (atrial fib). The docs have to figure out the right combination of meds to get her heart rate down, and then she's home free.
I hate living so far away when things like this happen. But I'm thankful so many prayers have been answered and that she's on the mend.
It's Friday night and I simultaneously hate and love it. It means all of the courts in Taiwan are closed. The doctor in Korea is not at work. Bad because don't need any breaks in the game, good because I can take a couple days off from wondering.
I'm happy to say that 5 years ago I would have been obsessed about it all. But it is literally by the grace and peace only God gives, that keeps me at whack level 5, not 10. Prayer has been such a big part of this journey and I'm really thankful to have grown in that respect. You go into an adoption with thoughts of growing your family, giving an orphan a home, and with a full heart. Months/years into it (and before your goal of bringing that child home is met), you look around yourself and find these glorious examples of God working in your life and you realize WE are the ones who are benefiting here.
I swear (and perhaps I shouldn't swear?) that it's as if God is sitting in our recliner...with us each day, observing it all, and rejoicing in the times that we "get it." We've had multiple instances in the past 2 yrs where we looked at each other in awe. God's work is amazing. When we see His hand touch this process, it is both heartwarming and mind blowing. Is it inappropriate to want to fist bump him and give him a little good game pat? Seriously, I get so excited and happy and I just can't stand myself.
Those who adopt will say this, but I truly get it myself now. WE are the ones who have been blessed here. And not just by having the privilege of parenting another child. No. Our blessings come from experiencing God on a very personal level. The blessings come when strangers know things, donate things, say things, show you things....all while not knowing about your adoption/upcoming bill that's due/that you're adding a girl to a family of boys. Non-believers would classify these moments as "random" or "coincidental" and they couldn't have it more wrong. God is working it, He knows what's up and when this is going to be complete. I want to go NOW, but am honestly, for the first time in my life, thrilled to wait and go when His timing is right.
I wish every family could/would experience this. The things that happen along the way, that put you on the right path, that guide you to the right agency, to the right country, to that child born somewhere without a family...those experiences are priceless and you find yourself sitting in a quiet room. And you know He's there. You pray. You talk. You ask. You confess. You thank. And you walk away feeling amazing. And I wouldn't want to skip over any of those moments.
I didn't get to meet Gabriel. And I didn't hear a voice from high above. I haven't seen someone healed, or raised from the dead. But I know God is all around and part of this process. The miracles are happening...I just think in this big, busy world, we don't necessarily realize it. Adopt an orphan...you'll realize they're everywhere, multiple times. And YOU get to be part of it.
Those who know and love me will say I'm do a notoriously horrible, no-good, terrible, awful job of waiting. But I'm genuinely calm and I honestly look forward to what's next Lord? What really cool, unexpected, amazing, perfectly timed move are You going to make next? We will Go where He wants us, Go when He wants us, and Wait when He wants us. And rest easy each night knowing that with His help, this can't be wrong. There are few things in life that are guaranteed, but I'll happily endorse this one....if God is part of your adoption process, no matter how/where/when/if it happens, it will be right. Period.
Oh and we get to Skype on Tuesday night with our sweet girl. Perhaps our last one before going to get her? A girl can pray!
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