I am so happy to share that this Sunday, our oldest son will be baptized. Matt is 11 and ready to make this very special step.
And so am I.
I was saved many, many years ago, but I grew up Catholic and was baptized as a baby. My mother is a devout Catholic and a very faithful believer. I've always put off my own baptism (by immersion) because I knew it might hurt her or feel like a sleight to her, her religion, and the faith in which my parents raised me. Catholicism is part of WHO she is. I also believed that I had been baptized and didn't need to re-do it.
Well, time went on, my relationship with God grew, and I really, really, really felt that I needed to comply with God's command that I make a public confession of my faith and belief in my Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm a little slow but I eventually realized that this Voice inside my head that kept prompting me to be baptized again was not going to stop.
I also never wanted any of my kids to ask me when I'd been baptized and have to explain or justify that my infant baptism was "good enough."
Our Bible study group has several members (adults and children) that wanted to be baptized. The plan soon came together and we decided to gather together, invite friends and family, and baptize all of us on the same day. It was a unique situation and a way to share a very special day with some of our closest friends.
I want to share this news. I certainly didn't want to avoid it or worse, hide it when speaking to my mom or other family members. So today I told her about Matt being baptized this Sunday. It was sort of my way of testing the water...to see how she received it before admitting (yes admitting..what a word to choose here) to her that I too would be baptized.
I told her and she was pretty great. She did say it hurt. I know it's because of her deep faith and belief in the teachings of the Catholic church. I know it's because she loves us and wants us to follow the same path. If it didn't mean anything to her, she wouldn't care what we chose to do. But when she said it hurt...I decided to ask about their time at the beach. Way to go me.
Yes I chickened out. After she said she was hurt, I certainly didn't want to say "Oh really...because I (the one you raised in the Catholic church complete with the usual sacraments) am going to be baptized too!" Nope, I froze and didn't mention it.
Then I spent the next two hours imagining the different scenarios. Where Matt blurts out at Thanksgiving dinner that we were both baptized. Or where Nathan decides to question mom on her baptism and tells her about mine. I knew she couldn't find out in that manner.
I also knew that the very reason you get baptized is to make a PUBLIC confession of your faith. That's sort of hard to do if you then have to avoid mentioning it, threaten your children's lives if they talk about it, or pray that no one tags you in a picture from that day on Facebook.
Stupid Facebook.
So, I called her back. I had already sort of missed the "oh and by the way" window, but I knew waiting any longer would make it more awkward. We chatted and then I spilled it. I explained that I never want to hurt her, but that I wanted her to know I was being baptized too.
Amazingly, my dad had helped her process my earlier news about Matt. Since my first call, he had pointed out it's just a good thing. Period. Matt is a believer, knows God, and baptism is a good thing. Mom very nonchalantly repeated what dad had said, said she understood, and that she was okay with it.
Wow. She has always been so supportive of me when it came to not being part of the Catholic church anymore (we weren't married in the Catholic church), but I knew that this baptism was a pretty big departure from it, perhaps the final one for her. I know what my beliefs mean to me, and what I want for my children. Of course she feels the same way.
What I hope she realizes is that while I might have left the Catholic church, and I might have ended up on a slightly different path, this is all her fault. She put me here in this place where my faith and belief system are incredibly strong and influential in how I live my life, and how I parent. My parents gave me that background in church. They laid the foundation and set the example. I have witnessed her (and my Grandmother's) deep faith in the Lord. God was part of our family when times were troubled, and He was at every family celebration. Because of mom and dad, I don't remember a time when I didn't know about Jesus and that He died for our sins.
This isn't about the differences in our beliefs. This is about the gift my parents gave me. They exposed me to God and His teachings and it's why I am in this place today. What a blessing to have been raised this way! And it's part of why my children are being raised this way. It's why a little orphan girl in Taiwan who currently wears a Buddha necklace around her neck, will soon know about Jesus and the incredible sacrifice He made for her.
So, I am so excited to share that I too will be baptized this Sunday. And my mom is awesome, and influential, and a blessing to me and my kids both near and far.
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