Katelyn is a horrible liar. It's great because she's so bad at it, we always know and can call her on it. We joke that we really need to make sure that behavior stops soon before she gets good at it. We teach honesty and talk about telling the truth frequently. She lies for all the normal reasons that kids lie...to avoid getting into trouble. But of course adoption plays into it too. She is avoiding trouble...and still trying to make sure we love her (my opinion).
When in trouble, she fidgets. She scratches elbow, taps legs, winds her hands and wrists around each other the entire time you're talking to her. And if you ask her a question, she does one of two things. She gives you a blank look and says nothing. Or she starts to give suggestions on what "maybe" happened.
Well today before bed she came to us and explained that while we were gone for the evening, she was messing around on the couch and accidentally knocked my computer off onto the floor. The top of it has a large scratch (but thankfully it still works). She said she had just told Nathan about it and now wanted to tell us. Her story didn't really make sense and we couldn't figure out why she would come and volunteer this info. Lord knows if I ever did anything wrong as a kid (and we all know I didn't), the last person I'd share it with was my brother!
So we really stayed calm, but asked questions. Her suggestions of how it might have fallen might as well have included that it it flew down to the floor. It's honestly hard not to laugh when she says "Maybe.....um, maybe when I was sitting there my hand accidentally pushed it down," or "Maybe my finger hit the cord and it got pulled down kind of softly?"
In the end we find out she was sitting upside down, hanging her head off the couch, and began to slide off. As she went down her knee or leg kicked the computer and knocked it off. We made a BIG deal about how proud we were that she told the truth and that she came to us. Telling us instead of us finding out and her lying about it was awesome.
We explained that since she was hanging around upside down (something she's been told not to do on the furniture), that there would be a punishment. But nothing like what would have happened had she lied.
We came up with a punishment and told her she lost a privilege for 2 days but if she had lied, she would have lost it for 2 weeks. Telling the truth paid off. And now she could go to bed with a clean conscious. What a great lesson and big moment for all of us!
At the end I was puzzled as to why she'd share that info with Nathan. She said she hoped he would make it better. She told us that he told her it was okay but that she needed to tell us. He also told her that in the Bible it says to tell your parents stuff like that (not quite, but he has the idea lol).
I am SO proud of him! What a great brother to give wise advice, not to run down and tattle on her, and to comfort her. That boy melts me all the time and I just love his heart.
Some days when I'm telling them for the 325th time to stop bickering, or to shut the pantry door before I remove it from the hinges, or when I'm picking up dog puke that they all stepped over as they went outside, I feel like I'm not doing this parenting thing right.
Then one of them makes a huge leap in trust and tells us the truth, and one counsels the other based on Biblical truths and gives comfort. What a blessing it is to be part of their journey. I'm so thankful!
Now if only they would SHUT THE PANTRY DOOR!
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