I fell into my computer and didn't come out for 2 hours last night. I started looking though iPhoto and ended up in the Taiwan pictures. I sat and viewed the pictures of the time leading up to our trip to Taiwan, of our departure, of our days in Taiwan before Katelyn, of meeting her for the first time, and of our time together there, and after our return. And along the way I watched several videos.
The taxi rides, the foster family, the language, the sights, the crazy Taiwan baseball game/concert, her broken English, learning to read, and how her relationship with her brothers has grown and changed. I watched it all and I'm in awe!
I laughed and cried. And I was reminded of how far she/we have all come. It put me back to those moments when that 7 year old girl who spoke very little English, was trusting enough to grab on and just go with it. Wow! I don't know that I could have done what she did. I really don't. At least, not with the grace she did it with. I would have been a whimpering puddle on the plane, but she just went with it.
Now she shares that she was definitely scared, that she hated the plane, that she misses the smells of Taiwan most, and certain things about her different caregivers there over the years.
While we were scared, impatient, and wanted desperately to show her how much we automatically cared for her and wanted to make her feel safe, she was certainly going through huge emotions too. She hid all of that, trusted us and took a huge leap.
That bravery changed her life and ours for the better. Of the 7 billion people on this earth, I am thankful each and every day that the 5 of us get to call each other family. God is so good and so faithful. He's bigger than anything we could ever imagine. He's here in the hard times, and He leads the way. I've learned time and again, and was reminded last night, if you are just brave enough to follow, He will lead you down the right path, much like we did with Katelyn 21 months ago. What a blessing!
Friday, March 6, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
United Health Care strikes again
And United Healthcare strikes again! The ortho doc on base said they could do nothing of me and he wanted to refer me off base to a "joint specialist." The reason is that even the "expert" joint guy in the ortho clinic on base felt they couldn't do anything to help me.
Today I followed up and called to check the status of the referral and get the info on the doctor they had chosen. First, they chose another orthopedic doctor. Not a joint specialist. Just a regular, everyday ortho guy. Secondly, upon further research I see that for my knee, they have referred me to an ortho who specializes in "neck and spine reconstruction."
Of course UHC did. It's par for the course. So after much research, looking up reviews, finding the right kind of orthopedic (you know, one who deals with knees), checking to see if they were in network, I called UHC back. I demanded that it be changed, gave them the name, address, and phone of the guy I found. Then I called the new doctor's office and scheduled my own appointment (vs UHC's advice to wait for the ortho's office to call me).
I will see him next Wednesday afternoon and thankfully Andy will go with.
I am disappointed not to be moving this summer like we thought. But honestly, I'm more frustrated knowing that I have to deal with UHC for another year. Their incompetence is incredible.
Praying the new doc won't tell me I'm a lost cause. I can't take that.
Today I followed up and called to check the status of the referral and get the info on the doctor they had chosen. First, they chose another orthopedic doctor. Not a joint specialist. Just a regular, everyday ortho guy. Secondly, upon further research I see that for my knee, they have referred me to an ortho who specializes in "neck and spine reconstruction."
Of course UHC did. It's par for the course. So after much research, looking up reviews, finding the right kind of orthopedic (you know, one who deals with knees), checking to see if they were in network, I called UHC back. I demanded that it be changed, gave them the name, address, and phone of the guy I found. Then I called the new doctor's office and scheduled my own appointment (vs UHC's advice to wait for the ortho's office to call me).
I will see him next Wednesday afternoon and thankfully Andy will go with.
I am disappointed not to be moving this summer like we thought. But honestly, I'm more frustrated knowing that I have to deal with UHC for another year. Their incompetence is incredible.
Praying the new doc won't tell me I'm a lost cause. I can't take that.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Boyfriends and Jesus
Yesterday was a regular Wednesday. Homeschool, lunch, outside play, the usual. Then Katelyn breezed into my room and we had the following conversation.
She started by explaining that she didn't want one, but wanted to know how you get a boyfriend. This led to a discussion about how old you have to be to date, and why you should be that old. And she asked "so how do you break up with a boyfriend?" Which led to more conversation about being older and being able to handle that kind of relationship.
Which led her to ask how many boyfriends I'd had before Andy, how I met Andy, how long we dated, when we got engaged, how he asked me to marry him. why do boys kneel down to propose, when he graduated college, when he started the Air Force, when our wedding was, and what our first house was like.
Soon we were talking about how you should marry your best friend and we came up with some examples of couples she knows. Which of course led to a discussion about divorce and who in our families has been divorced and why, and why anyone would do that even after promising God and all their family and friends to be together until they died.
Which led us to talking about God and what it means to believe in him and make promises to him (wedding vows), and sin, and our human-ness, and His grace and forgiveness.
To which that sweet face snuggled up with me in the chair very matter of factly said "I think I'm ready to pray that prayer mom..to tell Jesus I love him and I know He died on the cross and why He did that so that I can go to heaven too."
Afterwards, I was so tickled to think that the conversation that started with how to get a boyfriend, ended up in one of the most touching moments a mom can have....one where you get to be present and part of your child's journey to Jesus.
Her mind is always spinning so I have to say it was a very Katelyn-like and so perfect. I love that girl and I am so happy, relieved, and thrilled to know she will spend eternity in heaven. God's Blessings continue to pour over us. I'm humbled and grateful!
Monday, February 23, 2015
2015 so far
I am always the first to wish we actually had 4 seasons. Living in Vegas we have two. Hot, not so hot. I long for blustery days, snow, and hey, even a cloud would suffice now and again.
But it's February and we have had the a/c on for 2 weeks. The kids are wearing shorts regularly, and they've even begun to tan a little bit.
So how I ask, in the middle of such wonderful weather, have we spent 3 solid weeks being sick? Andy brought an upper respiratory infection home (thank goodness it wasn't the flu, but at least we could have thrown Tamiflu at that). He was put on quarters for 2 days. In his almost 22 years of active duty, that's a first.
Three days later Katelyn succumbed. It was the first time she's been sick since we brought her home. 21 months is a good stretch I'd say. United Health Care struck again when they wouldn't approve a trip to an Urgent Care off base. Our only option was thepetri dish ER on base. 5 hours later we left with a huge dose of steroids and Tylenol in her system. She was still sick for a solid week.
The next day it was my turn. Naturally it was a Saturday so to avoid a trip to the ER, I called my PH doc. He listened to my pitiful self and soon I had steroids of my own, antibiotics, albuterol, and orders for doing nothing but sipping anything liquid, and rest. I was down and out for 2 solid weeks.
I've had sinus surgery, emergency ectopic surgery, an incision that opened up and had to be packed/debrided 2x a day, two c-sections, and various procedures and I always handle the pain pretty well. The recoveries aren't fun but...you survive. This URI took me for a ride though. I'm pretty sure by day 7 I was almost crying because I perpetually felt as though I'd just gotten off a spinning ride at the fair. I wasn't dizzy...just "swimmy" as I call it. By day 10 I was positive I'd never recover. By day 14 I was giving Andy instructions on what to do with my belongings.
I did all I could to help the process along, but man was that a long two weeks!
In the middle of all that, I also finally had my MRI on my knee. It's been buckling and giving out periodically for about 3 years. It's embarrassing that I let it go on so long, but let's just say I'm not a big fan of specialists. It never seems to end well when I see those types.
I finally saw the orthopedist and we went over my MRI. First of all he MIGHT be as old as Opie. He's new, and awkward, and while very smart, not an expert at relating to patients. I figure when he's done with puberty, he'll be better at that part.
His news was that my knee is such a hot mess (his exact words), that there's nothing they can do for me and they are sending me off base to a joint specialist. Of course I dug into the "hot mess" comment and learned that the cartilage lesion is so big, and the bones are so close, and there is a slight tear in the meniscus, and there is cartilage floating around, and you know..the bone spurs behind the knee cap, that well.. they would only recommend a knee replacement.
Excuse me? Did your 10 your old doctor self just tell me I need a total knee replacement? I just turned 44. I already have PH and Scleroderma. Now you're telling me I need the same thing my 80 something year old grandmother had to have? I already checked the "it's very rare and I've never seen this in someone your age" box. Don't I get a pass on that now?
Apparently not. Honestly I'm angry. And I feel cheated (again). And many moments this weekend of "it's just not fair." But none of that changes reality. At this point I'm praying that the joint specialist will have more encouraging news. Surely we can clean up the inside, or do injections for awhile. Or utilize some newer treatments I've read about like stem cell injections.
Here's to hoping I can see the joint specialist this century and that he will have better news. I'm so over being THAT girl. Medical stuff just isn't any fun and I've had my fair share and then some. I'd like to get back to "just" homeschooling, parenting, and the general craziness of our life. Yes please!
But it's February and we have had the a/c on for 2 weeks. The kids are wearing shorts regularly, and they've even begun to tan a little bit.
So how I ask, in the middle of such wonderful weather, have we spent 3 solid weeks being sick? Andy brought an upper respiratory infection home (thank goodness it wasn't the flu, but at least we could have thrown Tamiflu at that). He was put on quarters for 2 days. In his almost 22 years of active duty, that's a first.
Three days later Katelyn succumbed. It was the first time she's been sick since we brought her home. 21 months is a good stretch I'd say. United Health Care struck again when they wouldn't approve a trip to an Urgent Care off base. Our only option was the
The next day it was my turn. Naturally it was a Saturday so to avoid a trip to the ER, I called my PH doc. He listened to my pitiful self and soon I had steroids of my own, antibiotics, albuterol, and orders for doing nothing but sipping anything liquid, and rest. I was down and out for 2 solid weeks.
I've had sinus surgery, emergency ectopic surgery, an incision that opened up and had to be packed/debrided 2x a day, two c-sections, and various procedures and I always handle the pain pretty well. The recoveries aren't fun but...you survive. This URI took me for a ride though. I'm pretty sure by day 7 I was almost crying because I perpetually felt as though I'd just gotten off a spinning ride at the fair. I wasn't dizzy...just "swimmy" as I call it. By day 10 I was positive I'd never recover. By day 14 I was giving Andy instructions on what to do with my belongings.
I did all I could to help the process along, but man was that a long two weeks!
In the middle of all that, I also finally had my MRI on my knee. It's been buckling and giving out periodically for about 3 years. It's embarrassing that I let it go on so long, but let's just say I'm not a big fan of specialists. It never seems to end well when I see those types.
I finally saw the orthopedist and we went over my MRI. First of all he MIGHT be as old as Opie. He's new, and awkward, and while very smart, not an expert at relating to patients. I figure when he's done with puberty, he'll be better at that part.
His news was that my knee is such a hot mess (his exact words), that there's nothing they can do for me and they are sending me off base to a joint specialist. Of course I dug into the "hot mess" comment and learned that the cartilage lesion is so big, and the bones are so close, and there is a slight tear in the meniscus, and there is cartilage floating around, and you know..the bone spurs behind the knee cap, that well.. they would only recommend a knee replacement.
Excuse me? Did your 10 your old doctor self just tell me I need a total knee replacement? I just turned 44. I already have PH and Scleroderma. Now you're telling me I need the same thing my 80 something year old grandmother had to have? I already checked the "it's very rare and I've never seen this in someone your age" box. Don't I get a pass on that now?
Apparently not. Honestly I'm angry. And I feel cheated (again). And many moments this weekend of "it's just not fair." But none of that changes reality. At this point I'm praying that the joint specialist will have more encouraging news. Surely we can clean up the inside, or do injections for awhile. Or utilize some newer treatments I've read about like stem cell injections.
Here's to hoping I can see the joint specialist this century and that he will have better news. I'm so over being THAT girl. Medical stuff just isn't any fun and I've had my fair share and then some. I'd like to get back to "just" homeschooling, parenting, and the general craziness of our life. Yes please!
Monday, February 2, 2015
Baby Ike and what I've learned
Tonight one of my most favorite families had their new baby boy placed in their arms for the first time. They are in China and after the typical long wait, crazy paper chase, ups and downs of the adoption process....Martha is now holding precious Ike in her arms. Her husband and both older children are all there too and I am just so thankful to God for this amazing blessing.
It's fun to experience it from this perspective. Watching God's love literally pour out over all of them, and living vicariously through their adventures is more than amazing. It motivated me to go back and read my own blog entries about our own experience with bringing Katelyn home. It really makes you realize how far we have all come.
I know I brag about her, say she's smart, say that my boys have handled it well. But there is no way to describe how wonderful it has been. We've had tough times, things to work through, and some growing pains. But as I look back over the past 19 months together, I am truly humbled. When you're living the day to day life of a family of 5, I think it's easy to take it for granted.
You want your kids to just be kids....not bicker, shut the pantry door, finish their chores, lay off the video games, be polite, work hard on their school work, and stop eating us out of house and home. But then I remember the beginning of our family of 5. And I am reminded that this sweet girl was braver than anyone I know and at age 7, happily took the leap of faith to join us. She left the food, the smells, the language, the culture, the fashion, and every adult who had ever cared for her...she left it all.
And to say she has blossomed would be an understatement. She can be a hot mess. She can roll her eyes. She can speak to me as if I'm her equal. She can boss her brothers. And she is not a good loser. At all.
But she is funny as all get out! Her wit and humor are the very best! She has a wide range of food likes. She is reading better than I could have ever predicted. Her confidence is growing. She's learning it's okay to be wrong. She comes to us for comfort when she's hurt or sick (HUGE progress). She accepts discipline better and has finally stopped crying if she is corrected. She loves her long hair, her Barbies, her friends, soccer, her play kitchen, and shopping. Boy does she love shopping!
My love for her just grows and grows...even when I don't think it's possible to love her more or be more proud of her...I am.
So to the Eskeridge family. I know a little of the journey in front of you. I'm partially jealous...and mostly relieved we are a few steps further into this adoption thing. I don't know of a more perfect mom and dad and sister and brother for baby Ike. I know you too will soak up this blessing and be humbled by God's divine love for you. Thanks for the reminder and the perspective you gave me on our own family. What a joy this is in so many ways!
It's fun to experience it from this perspective. Watching God's love literally pour out over all of them, and living vicariously through their adventures is more than amazing. It motivated me to go back and read my own blog entries about our own experience with bringing Katelyn home. It really makes you realize how far we have all come.
I know I brag about her, say she's smart, say that my boys have handled it well. But there is no way to describe how wonderful it has been. We've had tough times, things to work through, and some growing pains. But as I look back over the past 19 months together, I am truly humbled. When you're living the day to day life of a family of 5, I think it's easy to take it for granted.
You want your kids to just be kids....not bicker, shut the pantry door, finish their chores, lay off the video games, be polite, work hard on their school work, and stop eating us out of house and home. But then I remember the beginning of our family of 5. And I am reminded that this sweet girl was braver than anyone I know and at age 7, happily took the leap of faith to join us. She left the food, the smells, the language, the culture, the fashion, and every adult who had ever cared for her...she left it all.
And to say she has blossomed would be an understatement. She can be a hot mess. She can roll her eyes. She can speak to me as if I'm her equal. She can boss her brothers. And she is not a good loser. At all.
But she is funny as all get out! Her wit and humor are the very best! She has a wide range of food likes. She is reading better than I could have ever predicted. Her confidence is growing. She's learning it's okay to be wrong. She comes to us for comfort when she's hurt or sick (HUGE progress). She accepts discipline better and has finally stopped crying if she is corrected. She loves her long hair, her Barbies, her friends, soccer, her play kitchen, and shopping. Boy does she love shopping!
My love for her just grows and grows...even when I don't think it's possible to love her more or be more proud of her...I am.
So to the Eskeridge family. I know a little of the journey in front of you. I'm partially jealous...and mostly relieved we are a few steps further into this adoption thing. I don't know of a more perfect mom and dad and sister and brother for baby Ike. I know you too will soak up this blessing and be humbled by God's divine love for you. Thanks for the reminder and the perspective you gave me on our own family. What a joy this is in so many ways!
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