How to get an update on your adoption

1. Pray.

2. Be in contact with your agency and when they don't contact you back, have words with them.

3. Post on your blog that there are no updates for the 1 zillionth time.


And wha-la, you get an update. It's not a big one but it's like offering a rice cake to a starving person. It's something and it satisfies the hunger, even if for a little bit.

The judge on our case has asked for documentation from the Mayor. The Mayor of the town she lives in technically has guardianship of all children in foster care. Right now the case is at a standstill until that documentation is provided by the Mayor. From the sound of it, it's been stuck in this stage for a bit. We were also told that if this delay continues they will let us know. I'm guessing but I anticipate that we'll hear when the documents are back to the judge.

We don't know how much is left after those documents are submitted. Hopefully not much!

So now we have a specific prayer (and prayer requests!). Please pray that this Mayor, he or she, or the admin assistant working there will come up with those documents and get them to the judge asap!

We have confirmed the Skype call on the evening of Dec 23rd. We will be visiting family for the holidays so she will be exposed to get to meet her Aunt, cousins, other baby girls in the family, see my parents again, and perhaps even her other Grandparents. That is SO exciting. Let's just hope we don't all scare her off. ;-)

Yet another long post about how there is no news

No updates = frustration. Today wasn't a good day. It's been quite a few weeks since we've had contact with our agency about Katelyn. We couldn't get any reply back via email, text, or phone. We even had emails sent back as undeliverable. Each time we contacted them after unanswered email/call/texts, we would grow more frustrated.

You go long enough with no response and crazy thoughts enter your head. At one point I looked at Andy and asked him if I was nuts to wonder if the agency was out of business! When he confirmed that while it was unlikely, it had entered his mind too, I knew we'd gone over the adoption cliff.

Today we finally got some emails returned and to put it plainly, the person just wasn't that nice. Perhaps she was having a bad morning. Or maybe she was in a bad mood. It took most of the day but I think Andy and I both have pulled ourselves back up, remembered to trust God in all of this, and that His timing is perfect. That's not as entertaining as thinking of ways to hurt her, but it's the right way to move forward. We were sort of made to feel as if the agency is doing us a big favor to advocate for us, send packages for us, schedule Skype calls for us, etc.... We happen to believe that they are paid good $$ to do exactly that so it didn't fly too well with us.

Good things that came out of today...they've finally located the missing care package. :) It was sitting in an office in the orphanage. It is being given to the social worker and forwarded to the family. Progress!

We have a tentative Skype date on Dec 23rd which would be pretty awesome. We will be in Oklahoma and several family members would get to meet her. It will be hectic, but so neat to share her with everyone.

I had envisioned that she would be with us for Christmas, but those are not the ways of the adoption world. Make a plan, expect a schedule, anticipate an end date, and BAM, it all changes. Our feelings may dictate that it isn't going "right," but fortunately, I know God has set this all before us and it simply can't go wrong. I'm so thankful.

In every day life news, Nathan was baptized this past Sunday! What a joy to watch! His heart is genuine and sweet and he believes wholly in Jesus and his crucifixion that paid for our sins. It really is an honor to watch our other son through this process. What an awesome God. He has directly answered so many prayers...it's really hard to comprehend sometimes. Now we pray for Katelyn's salvation.

Nathan is also getting over the flu and bronchitis. Matt had it a couple of weeks ago and bounced back pretty quickly. I thought/hoped we were in the clear. But on Sunday evening we were out seeing Santa and about 30 minutes later, Nathan asked if he could sit down. Anyone that knows Nathan knows this is not a normal request. By Monday morning his fever was 103 and we were at the doctor's office performing one of his most favorite tests, the nasal swab. I don't often wish that I was working and Andy was the stay at home parent, but little things like that glorified Q-Tip being stuck up Nathan's nose are almost enough to make it happen.

We survived. He got Tamiflu and an antibiotic. I kept him home for 3 days, but when we were Wii bowling today and he was talking smack about my score, I knew it was time to send him back to school. So thankful for medications that make him better so fast!

Matt was written up at school today for discussing a little girl's name with his friend. They were in the hallway and supposed to be quiet. Apparently he couldn't contain the comments and the giggles when his friend pointed out the name "Elizabeth Butts" on the wall. Nothing like good ol' grade school humor.

We pray daily for THAT phone call. The one that initiates one last big flurry of preparations for Katelyn. I. can't. wait.

Another baptism

Today, our youngest made his public confession of faith. Nathan's little 6 year old self stood in front of a few hundred people and was baptized by one of the pastors Scott, and Andy.

I am so thankful and so feeling so blessed. God is amazing.

Lily of Taiwan

Skype session number 6

First we got to spend the afternoon with a beautiful little girl recently adopted from Taiwan. Little Lily has the sweetest little face and I canNOT get enough of her toothless grins. Seriously. Her parents Emily and Jason waited a couple of years and got to go pick her up in September. She is so cute and she really loved the boys. Little ones always gravitate to Matthew and he's really good with them. Her water fountain hairstyle is the best and reminds me of my nieces. Love her!

We got to finish the day with a Skype call with Katelyn. She is such a pretty girl and it was a quick, but great conversation. Her smile is the best. My favorite part was when she asked to play Paper, Scissors, Stones with Nathan, then with me, then with daddy. She won the final round. I could watch her play that, giggle and smile all night. 

We did ask if there was ANYthing they could tell us about the court process. They said they are just waiting on the paperwork (I guess the judgements?) to come back to them, and then they will file for her passports. It seems to us they could be getting the passport application started so we don't have to wait on it. I hope maybe that's something that goes quickly. We shall see. 

All in a all, a wonderful day. That little girl needs to be here. I tear up after every goodbye...hopefully we'll Skype again soon. I love her little face!

Doing the wait

I'm having a hard time. No other way to say that. About a week ago I just got over this whole wait thing. Up to this point I guess in my mind, it's part of the process. Waiting and being patient is just what you "do" during all of this.

Waiting is not typically something you think of "doing." But try to adopt an orphan...you will definitely be doing the wait.

It's something I'm struggling with now. I need to figure out a way to get to tomorrow, to this weekend, to next week, and dare I say it, next month. Until we get the call, that's the reality.

I know that God is in control and His timing is perfect. Our pastor has been talking about Joy the past couple of weeks. He has emphasized that Joy isn't felt due to the roller coaster of emotions...that's being happy, or not happy.  You choose Joy, and we can do that by remembering that God has given us all the ultimate gift of salvation. Nothing else matters in comparison. Joy is not dependent on our circumstances.

But my human heart just wants our daughter home...in our arms...at our table...in her room...playing with her brothers...home. So I ask for prayers that I remember to choose Joy, remembering His perfect plan, and yes, patience in my heart. A friend tonight said that once she's home, we won't remember this part. I know it's true...but it's hard doing the wait.

All is right in my world again

Andy DID come home late Saturday night. I'm so happy he's here. We've spent our Sunday at church and lunch with friends. I love having him in the house, sitting next to him in church, and just being with him. What a relief!

My little 24 hour stomach bug was no fun, but thankfully it's over. I hate to throw up. No one likes it, but I just don't allow it to happen. Bleck.

The boys are so cute and it's so fun to watch them hang all over Andy. They missed him so much. They did very well while he was gone and I love watching them with him now.

Our 19th anniversary is Tuesday and we'll spend the day in Birmingham. I'm pretty sure Ruth's Chris is on the menu...I. can't. wait.

I hope everyone else has a great week too. We're off to a great start! :)

11/3 11/3 11/3 11/3 11/3...oh wait

November 3rd. That's the day we've been counting down to since Andy left on June 11th. Turnover began last Monday in a 2 day meeting with the Colonel where she said that "as soon as the incoming are comfortable, know all of the information, know the lay of the land...the outgoing is free to go. The expectation among the outgoing cc's was that they would do turnover through Friday and head home on Saturday just like it was done when they all arrived last June.

So Andy and Bill (his replacement) completed turnover today Friday. Andy laughs at the amount of turnover that is required. But they did it, made sure Bill knew the lay of the land and Andy planned to leave early Saturday morning to come home to his family.

Well this afternoon, the Colonel called to check on how they're doing and Bill let her know they were done. Suddenly, things changed. Andy's orders technically say he'll complete his 140 days plus UP TO 8 days for turnover. Again, the last guy gave Andy this week...and Andy did the same with his replacement. It's more than enough time. Period. But the Colonel wants to make sure they have done turnover properly. She instructed them to spend time tomorrow (for the 3rd time, or 4th in some cases) driving around the post and learning where things are. Andy told me you can cover the entire list of places that matter in about 50 minutes.

The past two days, that's exactly what Andy has been showing him! He has introduced the guy to the Brigade commander, hooked him up with all of the pertinent people, driven around to the ranges multiple times, introduced him to all of the current trainees, etc... there just isn't anything else to cover.

But the Colonel wants them to "make sure they have it down pat tomorrow and then Andy can head out on Sunday."

Okay, even IF they would actually benefit by driving around tomorrow (which they won't...totally redundant), why would Andy need to stay until Sunday morning? I swear that this particular deployment seems to remove common sense from all in charge.

So, it is truly not a big deal. I mean, it's only a matter of hours until he comes home...we aren't talking about a long wait. But it's Orphan Sunday at Church this week and they are featuring the many adoptees in the church during the presentation...to include our Katelyn. :) I've been looking forward to sharing that with Andy, him next to me, enjoying church together like normal.

I told the boys he'd be a day late and was very matter of fact about it. I don't want them to be upset...it's just a little later and dad WILL be home.

So, we stay up a bit since it's Friday, and we all head to bed. I even took my favorite sleeping aid knowing I can sleep in tomorrow for the first time in a couple of months...literally!

I laid in bed and time went on and things just weren't right. Long gross story short, I started vomiting. It was an awful, horrible, nasty way to review your menu for the day. Seriously. I don't know if this is a stomach bug or something I ate that had gone bad.

What a sucky day...Andy will be delayed, and I'm throwing up. Bleck.

Perhaps it's good Andy won't be here tomorrow. What loon would WANT to come home to "this?" lol Were the situation reversed, I'd enter the house armed with Lysol. And bleach for good measure.

Hoping for some sort of rest tonight. And a quiet stomach. And maybe...maybe he'll talk the Colonel into letting him leave tomorrow afternoon??? Praying it is so!

Happy Halloween!

We spent Halloween with our Connect Group. We gathered at one house and cooked out. Then all of the guys took the kids Trick-or-Treating and all the moms gathered around the fire pit, laughed until our faces hurt, and handed out candy. It was SO fun!

I love this group of friends and I enjoyed last night so much. The only thing missing was my honey, but my inappropriate friends and the kids made it really fun. :)

Nathan was a Star Wars character for the 3rd year in a row. This year he went as Obi Won Kenobi. I've figured out it's all about the light saber. Superman, Mario, and and Ninjas don't carry light sabers..thus the reason he won't choose those. He wore his costume all day to school, then all evening, then tried to convince me they'd make good pajamas.

Matthew was a bloody something...again. Apparently if the costume will allow him to "bleed" (chest, face..whatever) then the cool factor is very high. He couldn't be more pleased with himself. Boys are just gross.

I can however sum up their personalities in how they handled their candy. Matt informed me this morning that he had enough candy to last until Christmas. Apparently he's planning on receiving more candy then. He even described a "schedule" of eating one piece after school, and one after dinner. On weekends he'll splurge and have 3 pieces each day. That's my planner/saver.

And Nathan...well, I checked on him last night in bed. He was sacked out still wearing his glow bracelet, holding two empty candy wrappers, with another piece of candy near his head. His face was a sticky mess and he was in a sugar coma. That's my Nathan.

Anyway...this week pumpkins were carved.

And costumes were donned.

Another Halloween for the books. I personally don't like Halloween...at all. I'm just glad the boys had fun and that it's behind us. For me it's just the gateway to my most favorite time of year. I'm SO glad the REAL holiday season has begun!

PH check up

I saw my doctor again. She's awesome. I'm doing awesome. Check. Check. Check.

Then we proceeded to talk about Katelyn, the adoption, and the timeline. It was a great visit and I always enjoy talking about Katelyn. You can run tests, listen to my heart, ask me questions about this and that...but I know I'm doing well when we spend 5 minutes talking about my medical condition, and 10 minutes discussing the latest about our adoption.

I don't go back until the end of February.

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways and I truly am grateful. I'm grateful for the doctors, the meds, and appointments like today that remind me how well I'm doing.

Ice Cream and French Fries

Skype session # 5.

Ahhh, another evening with Katelyn. It was an interesting night!

First, we discovered that she has yet to receive our package. Apparently they have a call into the main office in Taipei to ask where it is. They know that every time we speak, we ask if she's received it. Included in that first care package is a letter from us to her regarding her name. We wrote the letter and had it translated and it explains that we want to use the name Katelyn for her first name, and her given name will become her middle name. We are both sort of nervous about telling her this, but ready for her to know about it so we can begin using it.

Well we were disappointed that she hasn't received it. And what do you know, the translator started by saying that "Linda" (her American name they use during English class) had a question. She explained that Linda had asked this question last week and that it was the first thing she brought up today when she arrived. She wanted to know if she could change her American name and wanted to know what we would like to call her.

We were shocked! Changing her name is a delicate process and we'd put time and effort into a letter explaining how the name Katelyn is special to us and that we want to call her Katelyn. And bam...in the course of 10 seconds we were about to just tell her about it over Skype.

Sooo, we did! She thought about it. She literally put her little finger to her chin, eyes looking upward, and thought about the name. Next thing I knew she was referring to herself as Katelyn and off we went with the rest of the conversation.

Of course I envisioned the different scenarios that we might have as she read the letter and learned her new name. Telling her "in person"on Skype and getting her live reaction wasn't one of them! But how fun! She'll still get the letter and learn more about why we would like to use that name. I've prayed so often asking God to prepare her heart for this process. I've asked specifically that He open her up to the name Katelyn and that she would be okay with it. What a direct answer to prayer that we got to tell her about it, watch her reaction, and that she accepted it with no problem. Wow, just wow!

We spoke about Halloween. She got to trick-or-treat last Wednesday. She did not dress up but wore a jack-o-lantern hat. We explained that the boys would be dressing up and going TnT'ing this week. She became upset because she won't be there to do that with us. We explained that we would get extra candy for her and save it. We also pointed out that she could do this with us next year. She immediately began planning her costume. At last count the list included princess, Barbie, a bunny, and a cat. Can you imagine the list by next October? ;-)

She also stated that she is looking forward to going to McDonald's. Ha! That's a "we're on the road, nothing else is open, and it will make the kids happy" kind of place. Sounds like we might visit it a little more often after she arrives. ;)

It's pretty common knowledge that many Asian adoptees have a milk allergy. Having dealt with a milk allergy for 3 years (Nathan grew out of it at age 3), I know how hard it is to incorporate that into the family diet. I've been wondering if she is allergic to dairy or not...so tonight when talking about McDonald's I asked if she liked ice cream. She immediately said yes...that and french fries. A girl after my own heart.

She was corrected by the translator (asked Katelyn to speak softly so that she could hear us) and she got up and left. Literally, pouted, hid her face, then simply left the room. Apparently, she does that often. We asked about her foster sister's wedding this past weekend. The foster mom said it went well but that unfortunately there was only one picture of Katelyn because she left half way through the ceremony. THEN the translator explained that Katelyn can become very upset and grumpy and that you have to "make a deal with her" so that she'll cooperate. Ah-ha! She's one smart cookie...has the adults making deals with her in order to behave? I see a battle in our future. One we'll eventually win, but I have a feeling this could get sporty. I hope one day that when she reads this blog, this part is amusing. That can only happen if we have successfully corrected this problem. Yeah, I pray it's funny...one day.

All in all a great visit with her. I long to have her home...I pray we get "the call" soon, very. very. soon.

Skype # 4

Another successful Skype. She got to meet my parents, she showed us some rewards from school, her yearbook, pictures of her friends, and some of her favorite toys. She was definitely in a better mood than last time and I was relieved.

At one point we asked to see foster mom again (last time we saw her we had a bad connection and the picture was pixelated). She saw down and held K on her lap and Katelyn immediately settled down. She can sort of get up and down, lay across the desk, etc...but with foster mom she sat very still and participated. Bless her heart, I can only imagine what she must be thinking! The foster mom obviously loves her and cares for her very well. I hope that's a connection we're able to keep over the years for her sake.

I was so glad that my parents got to meet her. She referred to them as grandmother and grandfather and I'm pretty sure that sealed the deal for them. :)

She still hasn't received our care package but it should arrive any day. I can't WAIT for her to get it! I need to prepare the next round of pics to send to her.

Otherwise, things are rolling along. Andy will be home in 2 weeks and 4 days. This is our last week of soccer and I'm so freaking glad happy the season is about over. The boys both had awesome coaches and I hope they are with the same ones next Spring.

Sunday, Murphy ate some raw chicken from the trash (as in 2 chicken breasts that had freezer burn so I tossed them). I watched and waited and prayed that he wouldn't be affected. He fooled me because when he went to into his kennel that night I thought we were in the clear.

Holy brown alert, was I wrong. I woke up to the most horrid smell you can smell on a Monday morning. Diarrhea. I gagged. The boys gagged. Murphy laid in it, wagged his wet, poopy tail back and forth across my leg, the cabinets, the door frame, the couch, etc...you get the idea. It was a lovely morning.

Fortunately he seems fine now. I informed him he simply wasn't allowed to get salmonella poisoning on my watch. I guess it worked because he's fine now. His kennel is super, bleachy clean, and he smells like Pantene.

Looks like we'll Skype again in a couple of weeks. I look forward to the day when we can't schedule another Skype session because we'll be going to get her instead.

Next Skype session Sunday

We should get to speak with her again this weekend. And my parents happen to be passing through...she gets to meet 2 of her grandparents! That should be interesting. I pray she's in a better mood than last time.

I'm praying she has received our care package and is enjoying the photo album. The part I think about constantly is our letter telling her we will call her Katelyn. I pray she receives that news and accepts it. I'm a little nervous!

We are another week closer to Andy's return. We were so blessed with his visit last weekend. We all got a taste of life with him back home and it was a  bitter pill to swallow when he left. He even made school lunches for Monday. For that alone I want him back immediately.

Two more Saturdays of soccer and then the season ends. It's kept us busy these last couple of months and I've met some new mom friends. Mom friends are the best...they understand the toothpaste on your shoulder from hugging your youngest goodbye, they understand your disheveled-just-woke-up appearance on school mornings, and they understand the need for an evening out where you laugh until your face hurts. Nope, can never have too many of those kind of friends.

I finished Katelyn's bedside table tonight. It used to be Matt's and then Nathan had it. It was a natural wood color (well...and marker colored, and pen colored, and apparently "Nathan wuz here," you get the idea). It's now all shiny and new with a fresh coat of white paint and some new drawer pulls. I figure we got our money's worth out of it no matter what she does to it! It is the last piece of furniture to go into the room. We are ready Taiwan...just say the word...now please!

5 years of PH and being a Live-er

Tomorrow, October 11th marks the 5th anniversary of my diagnosis of Pulmonary Hypertension.

My condition at the time of diagnosis certainly didn't bode well for the future. I was in moderate to severe heart failure, my heart was surrounded by fluid, and it was pumping at less than 50% capacity. I slept....more than even I, the professional sleeper-inner had ever slept before. I remember (ironically) not being able to remember things. Words escaped me. Due to oxygen deprivation, I couldn't come up with the simplest phrase, and working hard to do that was too taxing. Most of my days were spent horizontal on the couch, watching the boys play. Thank goodness my job as "mom" was not one from which I could be fired because, well, I wasn't exactly doing much mothering. That was the hardest part emotionally.

Nathan was 18 months old. I had lost my voice (paralyzed vocal cord that we later realized was yet another symptom of PH) and I could only speak, read books, or sing songs to him in a whisper. I realized after awhile that he spoke normally to Andy and Matt...and he whispered when he talked to me.

Matt was in 1st grade by then. He is such a good kid and he just forged ahead like any 6 year old. It all affected him though and I hated that he knew something really wrong was happening to us...not just to me, but to our family as a whole.

The cardiologist who performed the heart cath told me to get my affairs in order. He told my 36 year old self that he was sure I wouldn't see my 39th birthday. I wished really hard for him to break something...like his face, but he was just the messenger, albeit a poor one.

Thankfully, I was diagnosed with PH at a time when new medications were/are being developed all the time. Researchers keep finding new angles from which to attack this dreadful disease. I guess I have sucky luck, but good timing.

I've also been fortunate in that I have been under the care of amazing PH specialists. The knowledge and experience they bring to the table has been life changing. The pulmonary doc who diagnosed me saved my life. But the specialists since then gave me my life back. And they even put up with my neurotic need to know info, test results, upcoming clinical trials, dosage questions, treatment options, and the like. I'm pretty sure I'd drive me crazy if I was my doctor.

5 years from diagnosis, the survival rate is around 50%. But that number continues to go higher as people like me benefit from all of the new meds.  Here I am. Take that PH.

And here's the fun part. Not only am I still here, I'm LIVING! I'm not watching from the sidelines or barely getting by, I'm a typical mom and wife. I volunteer at school, actively participate in an awesome church, discuss boys' stinky feet and incredible appetites on the sideline of soccer practices, play Bunco, go out with friends, take care of our house, shop (unfortunately for our budget), walk the dog, travel, and well, normal, every day life! I often envision letting that cardiologist know how inaccurate his advice was 5 years ago...sending him a picture of myself at the 5K this summer, or tubing on the lake would be a fun place to start.

I'm not just a Survivor at this momentous 5 year point. I'm a Live-er. There are no words to describe how thankful I am. Some days when the trash bag opens on the curb and crap goes everywhere, or Nathan has once again emptied the milk jug at 9pm at night, or when Murphy brings a baby bird into his kennel, I remind myself that THIS is living and not that long ago, I was watching it all from the sidelines.

I never thought I'd consider PH a gift, but it is. I mean, I'd prefer diamonds, but well, I got PH instead. And PH does NOT have me! It's a part of me, but it doesn't define me and for that I am immensely thankful. My faith has grown so strong, and so deep and I don't know if that would have happened if not for PH. Really...what a blessing it has been.

I pray daily that I continue on this path and that new meds and treatments continue to be developed. I pray that the medical community finds a cure for Pulmonary Hypertension. For me. For all of my PH friends.

5 years and counting...and living.

Unexpected guest

Translations are back! Care package is put together and it gets overnighted tomorrow morning. The agency normally mails family care packages (from multiple families) on the 1st of every month. They agreed to wait until our package arrives. I'm SO happy she's going to get the stuff in a few days!

As for court, no news is literally good news. We only hear from them if there is a problem. Waiting stinks. Waiting and not knowing ANYthing is t-o-r-t-u-r-e.

We should also be getting some more info about her placement history. It came to our attention last week that there were some gaps in the information we had. I dread it because I don't want it to be bad in any way. I'm excited because it's another piece of who she is and I want all of that we can get.

In regular-life-news, Andy will arrive on Friday. The boys don't know yet that he's going to be here for a 4 day weekend. He should be here by the time the boys get home from school Friday afternoon. I have these wonderful visions of how it will play out..complete with them running towards each other, with arms wide open, with music playing in the background. Or, they could just barrel in, throw down their stuff in the middle of the floor, run into the living room, and screech in excitement. Wait...that pretty much happens every day (minus the screeching). I know it will be fun and it's something I bet they remember for a long time.

Andy's dad is also visiting this weekend. He's making the long trek from Oklahoma to visit and watch a couple of soccer games. The boys always love Grandad time...it usually involves trips to Bass Pro Shop, and shooting things. Boy heaven.

I hope this week passes quickly!!

Translations Please

We NEED the translations to get back to us ASAP! We have a photo album ready and waiting, and a care package to go with it. None of it can be sent until we get the translations (that go into the photo album) back.

The problem is that the agency states that translations take 4-6 days. It's been 6. As another blogger wrote, Dear People Who Give Me Timelines...please follow them, or stop doing that! We need to get this show on the road and until I have those cute descriptions under all of the pictures translated into Mandarin, those cute descriptions don't matter!

My problem is that I'm never quite happy with the finished product. I've had the scrapbook pages in my possession for several days and so I've looked at them. Repeatedly. Each time I review them, I decide I wish I had used a different photo here, a different phrase there, a different layout here, a different ..well, you get the idea. By the time the translations are returned to us, I will have decided the whole thing needs to be redone.

The only thing stopping me is that I can't change the descriptions (or the photos they describe) because then it would make the translations null and void. And I'd have to start over.

Technically I think this is how Crazy starts, but why worry about that now, right?

Whoops

Have you ever lovingly packed your child's lunch, sent them to school, then found the sandwich for said lunch in the fridge later that afternoon?

Yeah. Me neither....

Latest Skype session

We got to see her pretty face tonight. We also got to see her grumpy side. It was endearing, and a little amusing. Then I realized it was only amusing because it wasn't me having to deal with it...yet.

Like when the stranger in line behind you at the store has a child who is misbehaving a little. And you know the child has chosen the perfect time to show just who is in control. The adult whispers firmly in her ear to straighten up and fly right...and the child continues to sink to the floor or sing random songs as if no one else exists. Charming.

Yeah, it's funny alright...until you're on a  plane bound for America, can't speak Mandarin, and your 50 lbs. bright-eyed little daughter chooses that moment to test your parenting skills. Yes, I picture this a lot. Worried, party of one please. 

She didn't have much to say and we saw the top of her head quite a bit. At one point she left the room and the social worker shared with us that Katelyn wasn't very happy with us after missing the last Skype session. We still don't know where the failure in communication happened, but that sweet girl came to the orphanage to see us and we blew her off like we were off on a weekend beach vacation....because, well, we were. Granted we had no idea we were supposed to meet up with her, but all she knows is we stood her up. I'd be mad too if I was her. 

They pointed out she was in quite a mood today. We assured them that we understood. They then shared with us that she has a bit of a temper. I asked how she behaved when she became angry...and they said "well, like she is behaving today." Understood and no big deal. Short of fast forwarding several months, that's just going to be how it is sometimes. 

The topper was that through the translator, she has expressed concern about how we will communicate when she gets here and we don't know Mandarin. Oh baby girl, we think about that too! ESL tools will be our best friend.

She also said...and here is where if you're human, your heart will clench up a little...she said that while she is excited to come here, she doesn't want to leave her foster mommy again. As in...she's already been in 4 foster homes and heading to America with strangers who don't understand her is not high on her list of fun things to do. 

I so get this. I get it! If Nathan was an orphan, and at his age, he had to go to Asia, move in with strangers who don't speak English, and spend the rest of his life, well...I can't even imagine. And yet, that's exactly what we are asking her to do in order to join our family. How does a 6 year old girl process that? 

The social worker also shared that K is pretty spoiled. She attributes it to her being moved around quite a bit. I can't help but wonder if their version of "spoiled" is the same as ours. This could be an interesting dynamic for sure.

On the positive side, all of this means she truly understands (as best as a 6 year old can) what is happening. She's obviously envisioning what it will be like. It also means she must have a pretty good foster family. By all accounts she is very happy there and while I'm sad she has to leave that life, I'm relieved to know that she is being treated well..something that isn't always a given in foster care (of any country). 

Tonight felt like a little bit of shine has been rubbed off. The first two Skype sessions she was working so hard to impress us. I think I even said that I wish she didn't feel the need to do that. Ha!  Reality is setting in and it's just going to be tough. Period. 

I wish I could reach through that computer, hug her, play with her, reassure her, and comfort her. That time will come and until then I'm thankful for Skype. I pray each day that God will prepare her heart for this and comfort her as needed. And I pray He will guide us and help us help her. 

Balancing hope and faith with the realities of the international adoption of an older child is quite a feat. I think we're crazy...but really happy too. ;)

Photo albums, toys, and Skype!

We've prepared a photo album to send to K. The captions under the pictures must be translated before it's sent but that shouldn't take too long.

We are also sending along a letter from Andy and me to her, explaining why this very special name "Katelyn" means so much to us and why we want that to be her name. We will keep her given name as her middle name, but Katelyn has been in our hearts and minds for a long while. How exciting to have a child now that will hopefully wear her new American name proudly. I think it will go fine but I'm bracing myself in the event she has a few words to tell us about it. ;)

Lastly, we have a little baggie full of a few toys that I believe she'll love. Every child that likes to draw as much as she does needs a pad of drawing paper, and some new markers, right? And after declaring that Barbie is her favorite doll...Barbie soon became part of the first care package we're sending. The boys put in some plastic costume jewelry, and a book.

I know she'll pour over all of it and view it again and again. And in a month we will send her more pages to add to the album, and that's when the indoctrination begins. First it's some cute OSU bows for her hair...or maybe a tee-shirt from Joes. Then we slip in an OSU book bag with "Future Cowgirl" embroidered on it. I'm certain the shirt that says "Friends don't let friends go to OU" won't make it into the package, but I make no promises. As long as she understands the rules...we love and cheer for all things OSU, do the waving wheat, and shoot our pistols when we score a touchdown, we're all good. Next semester we'll address the expectation of how you behave during Sooner games. It won't take her long to learn that if the Sooners are playing, you cheer for the opposing team. It's a rule, one she will follow or my heart will be permanently broken.

Covers all the important stuff right?

We do get to Skype tomorrow night. I'm so excited to see her little face and visit again. Can't wait!!

Saved and Baptized

Another week behind us, a week closer to Andy's return. We are on the downhill side of him being gone and I pray the time passes quickly. I'm more than ready for him to be home where he belongs.

On a side note, I really, really need the lizards to stay outside. I might, almost, on a really good day think they're sort of cute...if they didn't scurry along, regrow appendages, and show up when I least expect it. Bleck.

Matt and I were both baptized today. We got to share the day with many close friends and Andy was "there" the whole time on Skype watching it all go down. I was so elated afterwards that we got to do this with friends and on the same day. I asked Matt several times what he thought, how it went...and his 11 year old self shrugged his shoulders, and agreed it was "pretty cool." When I begged asked him to elaborate, he paused and said "I got to be baptized and that's a big deal..then I got to swim and hang out, and eat dessert..it was pretty cool." I guess I asked right?

After we returned home Nathan adamantly declared that he needed to be baptized too...this Sunday. We discussed that you can't be baptized unless you've been saved and are a believer. He calmly explained to me what being "saved" meant...made it clear that he believes that, then again declared he wanted to be baptized this week. After talking to Andy, next thing I knew, Nathan was praying that prayer with me. Awesome.

For my entertainment, I pointed out to Matt that not only have I prayed for their salvation and baptism, I pray for his future wife. I pray that she too will be a believer and an Oklahoma State fan...I even suggested that somewhere out there on this big earth, is a little girl around his age who maybe has just been baptized too. Matt found the idea intriguing...then Nathan made kissy kissy sounds, Matt punched him in the arm, and my moment of "wow...that's sort of cool" dissolved into brotherly "love."

I was baptized today. My 11 year old son was baptized today. And my 6 year old son was saved today (baptism as soon as church can schedule it). I prayed about their salvation long before they were ever born. Watching God work in their lives is such a joy and a privilege. It just doesn't get any better than that!

Baptism and an Awesome Mom

I am so happy to share that this Sunday, our oldest son will be baptized. Matt is 11 and ready to make this very special step.

And so am I.

I was saved many, many years ago, but I grew up Catholic and was baptized as a baby. My mother is a devout Catholic and a very faithful believer. I've always put off my own baptism (by immersion) because I knew it might hurt her or feel like a sleight to her, her religion, and the faith in which my parents raised me. Catholicism is part of WHO she is. I also believed that I had been baptized and didn't need to re-do it.

Well, time went on, my relationship with God grew, and I really, really, really felt that I needed to comply with God's command that I make a public confession of my faith and belief in my Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm a little slow but I eventually realized that this Voice inside my head that kept prompting me to be baptized again was not going to stop.

I also never wanted any of my kids to ask me when I'd been baptized and have to explain or justify that my infant baptism was "good enough."

Our Bible study group has several members (adults and children) that wanted to be baptized. The plan soon came together and we decided to gather together, invite friends and family, and baptize all of us on the same day. It was a unique situation and a way to share a very special day with some of our closest friends.

I want to share this news. I certainly didn't want to avoid it or worse, hide it when speaking to my mom or other family members. So today I told her about Matt being baptized this Sunday. It was sort of my way of testing the water...to see how she received it before admitting (yes admitting..what a word to choose here) to her that I too would be baptized.

I told her and she was pretty great. She did say it hurt. I know it's because of her deep faith and belief in the teachings of the Catholic church. I know it's because she loves us and wants us to follow the same path. If it didn't mean anything to her, she wouldn't care what we chose to do. But when she said it hurt...I decided to ask about their time at the beach. Way to go me.

Yes I chickened out. After she said she was hurt, I certainly didn't want to say "Oh really...because I (the one you raised in the Catholic church complete with the usual sacraments) am going to be baptized too!" Nope, I froze and didn't mention it.

Then I spent the next two hours imagining the different scenarios. Where Matt blurts out at Thanksgiving dinner that we were both baptized. Or where Nathan decides to question mom on her baptism and tells her about mine. I knew she couldn't find out in that manner.

I also knew that the very reason you get baptized is to make a PUBLIC confession of your faith. That's sort of hard to do if you then have to avoid mentioning it, threaten your children's lives if they talk about it, or pray that no one tags you in a picture from that day on Facebook.

Stupid Facebook.

So, I called her back. I had already sort of missed the "oh and by the way" window, but I knew waiting any longer would make it more awkward. We chatted and then I spilled it. I explained that I never want to hurt her, but that I wanted her to know I was being baptized too.

Amazingly, my dad had helped her process my earlier news about Matt. Since my first call, he had pointed out it's just a good thing. Period. Matt is a believer, knows God, and baptism is a good thing. Mom very nonchalantly repeated what dad had said, said she understood, and that she was okay with it.

Wow. She has always been so supportive of me when it came to not being part of the Catholic church anymore (we weren't married in the Catholic church), but I knew that this baptism was a pretty big departure from it, perhaps the final one for her. I know what my beliefs mean to me, and what I want for my children. Of course she feels the same way.

What I hope she realizes is that while I might have left the Catholic church, and I might have ended up on a slightly different path, this is all her fault. She put me here in this place where my faith and belief system are incredibly strong and influential in how I live my life, and how I parent. My parents gave me that background in church. They laid the foundation and set the example. I have witnessed her (and my Grandmother's) deep faith in the Lord. God was part of our family when times were troubled, and He was at every family celebration. Because of mom and dad, I don't remember a time when I didn't know about Jesus and that He died for our sins.

This isn't about the differences in our beliefs. This is about the gift my parents gave me. They exposed me to God and His teachings and it's why I am in this place today. What a blessing to have been raised this way! And it's part of why my children are being raised this way. It's why a little orphan girl in Taiwan who currently wears a Buddha necklace around her neck, will soon know about Jesus and the incredible sacrifice He made for her.

So, I am so excited to share that I too will be baptized this Sunday. And my mom is awesome, and influential, and a blessing to me and my kids both near and far.

Living with critters

I've just about had my fill (okay, yeah I've definitely had my fill) of animal life in my house. Lizards are the theme of the week. Anyone who knows me knows that I simply don't do reptiles. Of any kind. 

There was the lizard scurrying around the couch. Armed with a broom (I really need to look into better weapons I think), the boys and I chased him out from under the couch and slapped a cup on top of him. Well sort of. We missed...by about a lizard's tail width. 

As the cut off tail continued to wiggle and squirm, Matthew helpfully informed us that it was no big deal because the lizard's tail would just regenerate. Which prompted Nathan to ask what regenerate means. The boys had quite a conversation which included Nathan imagining how cool it would be to re-grow limbs. I pointed out that he'd have to lose one in order to re-grow one. Apparently it's still a cool idea. 

Once Merriam Matt Webster had us all on the same page, we decided to use a dust pan to slide under the cup (again, I really do need better tools for all of this critter catching that I have to do). Since letting the tail-less lizard escape was simply not an option, I was very careful to slide the cup up onto the dustpan without losing contact with the floor (and if that makes any sense at all to anyone else, congratulations). 

I ran to the front door and tossed the lizard out. He sort of looked okay, but not really. I think my sliding-onto-the-dustpan maneuver didn't go so well for the lizard. 

A few days ago our a/c went on the fritz. It's nice and cool in the evenings and so I opened a few windows so that the house would be livable. The first 2 windows I opened had lizards clinging to the screens. I slammed shut those windows and found one that at least for the moment was animal free. 

This past week I've also found these little skinny, black, crunchy bugs. They don't get to live IN my house. It's against my law.

Lastly, I was helping Nathan dress for soccer. I reached down to grab one of his shoes and a stupid lizard poked it's head out of the shoe and looked at me..then dove right back into the shoe. 

I am almost embarrassed to say I screamed like a girl and held the shoe out as far as my really long arms would reach. I ran to the front door (my new repository for all things with 4 or more legs) and proceeded to hand the shoe to Matt and told him to shake the lizard out. Yeah...I did. I panicked and gave it to my 11 year old son to handle. I just kept imagining it jumping out of the shoe and onto my arm. I knew the amount of therapy that would be needed after that would be at an astronomical cost. So yeah, I handed it off to Matt. 

In between laughing at me and shaking the shoe, he managed to get rid of the lizard. Now every time we have soccer, Nathan will hand me his shoe and say "Hope there's not a lizard in there mom...want me to open the front door?" Such a sweet little angel child. 

Lastly, and the reason I even sat down to write is that our paperwork has officially left TECO. It is at our agency and will arrive in Taiwan either tomorrow or Friday. The orphanage is anxious to get this show on the road so they will be initiating the court process quickly. We are thankful that we are over that last hurdle, and praying that the court process goes smoothly. 

Adoption is not for the faint of heart. Neither is catching lizards in your house.

Our future

I enjoy this writer so much and her blog is both entertaining and informative. She and her husband adopted two older children from Ethiopia and she wrote this post about adoption, 1 year later. What an amazing glimpse into our future...both scary and hopeful. 

Waiting, our new hobby

We overnighted our authenticated documents to TECO on July 18th. As of today, the documents are supposedly all in order. Last week they were supposed to send the package of documents to our agency...they make copies of certain things, then they overnight them to the orphanage in Taiwan. 

The documents have yet to arrive at our agency so the agency director tracked the package. It has not been shipped yet. This very moment, it's still sitting on someone's desk in Atlanta. 

The person who made this difficult on day one at TECO has simply been dragging her feet. We've done everything extra that she required. But she's in control and we simply must wait. 

Honestly, I keep hearing the words "it could go as quickly as 6 weeks, or 4-6 months" in my head. And I cringe each and every time. I have a feeling it won't go quickly, but I hope that's just my frustration speaking.

Either way, nothing happens while they sit on Cecilia's desk. And our daughter spends more time in foster care. It's beyond maddening. 

Every day life

Let's see, Matt can put one of his contacts in himself now. If only we could move the other eye to the "good side" long enough to put in the other contact, we'd be good to go. 

Murphy brought in yet another animal/play toy. It was a ground squirrel and he carried it right to his kennel as if he was going to keep it for later. Unlike the bird, this poor creature was no longer alive so I didn't need the distance of a shovel to carry it outside. A dustpan worked just fine, though it's a little more difficult with your eyes closed/averted. 

Nathan likes school. He and Fletcher have become friends and he sometimes calls him Fletch. I don't know why but it makes me smile each time Fletch said this, or did that. 

We see Andy in exactly one week. I can't wait to spend a few days with him. I long for his company, and laughter, and hugs. And his ability to pack school lunches.

Soccer starts next week. Matt is attending the church Youth group on Wednesdays, and our weekly Connect Group starts meeting on Wednesdays again. I look forward to all of it. As much as I enjoy a lazy summer day, the scheduled activities and on-the-go way of life are also appealing. If only none of it required clean clothes, I'd like it a lot more. 

I think of K so many times each day. I am apprehensive about the changes for her, for us. I want her here. I am a little scared unsure about her adjustment..our adjustment. But as usual God's Word is so clear about this and I'm thankful to have read this very verse tonight. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Jeremiah 29:11

It may or may not be easy, but it will be okay. We are part of her future. She is part of ours. What a gift!

TECO update

Finally! Our paperwork is there and they don't have any problems with the documents. There is one last letter for them to approve and then they will send it all back to our agency.

The agency will send it all to the orphanage, and the social worker there will initiate the actual court process. According to our agency, we seem to have a great social worker, one who is pretty good at navigating the courts. YAY!

K's birth family is out of the picture in a variety of ways. She has a sibling that was adopted over a year ago already. She's also been in foster care for a long period of time. Apparently these are all things that can help expedite the process if we happen to get a favorable judge. There is really no reason to delay it and they want her to get to her family as soon as possible. Music to my ears!

Our agency said we could possibly travel as soon as 8 weeks from now...and if it goes slowly, there are hold-ups, etc, it could be up to 6 months before we travel. I'm praying it's sooner rather than later. I know God is in control and the timing will be perfect. But there are no two ways about it, waiting is hard, no matter how you slice it!

A good update though and another step closer!

School Year 2012

Our sweet boys started school today. Nathan reluctantly marched off to 1st grade. He mentioned several times last week that he REALLY loves homeschooling. Subtlety is not his forte. Matthew looked forward to 5th grade just as any normal, red-blooded, American, sleep-in-all-summer boy would. 

Nathan's teacher is exactly what I wanted. Her classroom is organized and bright and focused on reading, reading, and reading. She is organized and bright. It's such a refreshing change from last year. And I controlled myself very well...didn't even come close to hugging her like I wanted to out of pure happiness. When I left him there I was a little sad, but I knew he was in good hands. He had already befriended a boy named Fletcher and I decided I hope they are best buds. What's not to like about a 6 year old with brown hair named Fletcher?

Matthew's two teachers seem great. His homeroom teacher is a man and it's just a totally different feel. I watched him talk to some of the kids and he's just relaxed and funny. He's not the type of teacher that will necessarily hug the kids or comfort them...but he'll nudge them with his elbow, and get them to crack a smile while learning about the cottage industry and the industrial revolution. He also has a bass and two deer hanging on his classroom walls. His cool factor went up exponentially in Matthew's eyes. 

When I grow up I want to be like his other teacher. She is ON it! She teaches all of the language arts and boy will she be asking a lot of them. They learn, write, and perform plays (instead of doing yet another worksheet). She uses novels and activities to teach the simplest of ideas. And they brought back the good ol' fashioned spelling test. Apparently last year this district abandoned the idea of spelling things correctly. It must have gone really well because they've completely reversed their thinking this year. I'm glad to see it. She even grades handwriting. Matt would rather pull his fingernails out than write in cursive...this will be good for him!

No first day of school is complete without the requisite front door pic. 

Matthew informed me there would be NO pictures on school grounds. I teased him that I planned on taking a picture of him sitting at his desk. He couldn't roll his eyes back into his head fast enough. Love him. 

Anyway, here's Nater and his new teacher. So cute!

Let the school year begin!

Allergy shots, contacts, and Oscars

Like any other well-behaved Oklahoma girl, I suffered from horrible allergies. I saw the doctor, went through the torture skin testing, and ended up receiving allergy shots each week. We lived several miles from the doctor's office and so they trained my dad to give me the shots. 

As a kid, it was no big deal. Dad made it seem so easy and I never really thought abut it. Recently, dad admitted that he HATED giving those things to me. Like most parents he did not enjoy the process of jabbing a needle into my arm.

I thought of him this past week...each morning. 

Matthew has begged to wear contacts. At his yearly eye checkup, he finally got his wish. The eye doctor decreed that if he could insert and remove them, Matt was cleared to wear them. 

Knowing that his world would end if he was unable to get contacts, the pressure was on. He practiced, tried, worked hard, stressed, practiced, stressed, and well, you get the idea. 

Try as he might, he couldn't quite get them in yet. Enter, mom. With me prying his upper eyelid up, and him prying his lower eyelid down, I put his contacts in each morning. I cannot explain in words how horrible it is to touch another person's eyeball. Not even cute Matthew's. It's really disturbing to be honest. Bleck.

In addition, I as the mom must not show that it's completely gross. It's totally normal to mess with that jelly-ish globe and touch it. So  yeah, I deserve an Academy Award. 

Each evening, I thank the Lord that he is able to remove them. I'm pretty sure I just couldn't do that part too. 

It is pretty cool to see his face without glasses. He's a pretty cute kid so after I recover each morning, I enjoy the view. And so does he. ;)

PH update

On a side note, my appointment yesterday went very well. I just love my doctor. She did cringe a little when I proudly told her about the 5k I did last month. But all of my tests look great and she's happy with everything. 


She went over my echo and the heart looks normal (ventricle size, ejection fraction, etc...). I've always loved a good report card, especially when it comes to this.


We were talking about some current clinical trials and I asked about their success. We also discussed how much she likes IV meds. She pointed out that if a patient needs them, she is a huge proponent as they work so well. She went on to say that IF, not when, but IF I ever progressed to that point, that she feels I'd do very well on them. 


5 years ago, the information and treatments available were so different. I was told by the experts that the PH would progress...it was just a matter of time. Now the experts talk about "if" it progresses. Music to my ears. 


I'm so thankful for my medical care, the treatments available, and my response to them. The fact that my life revolves around my family, the adoption, and dealing with bird-eating dogs is a testament to how well I'm doing. What a blessing!

Staple-gate update # 2

The county has agreed to remove the staples and then write a statement saying they removed it, not us. The supervisor was very apologetic and I almost laughed out loud when she looked so puzzled and said "we NEVER attach the certifications like this...this is so strange." Of COURSE they don't! and of COURSE it happened to us! Oh well...at least it's almost over. We are praying TECO accepts the documents now!


To add to my last post, Nathan was a little off today and then suddenly spiked a fever this afternoon. After a trip to urgent care, an attempt at blood work (where 4 adults were unable to hold him still enough to get the blood draw), a urine test (where he decided it was actually pretty amusing to make his mother hold a cup that he peed into), and a shot of antibiotics (where the 6'4" tech holding him down had trouble doing so), we are home and he will be on the mend soon. Never a dull moment!

Out of town = guaranteed mishaps

As many of my military wife friends can attest, when your husband leaves town, things happen. Weird things. Things that never happen any other time. 


My garage door went up half way one day and stuck. It was as if my house had kidnapped me and we couldn't leave until our landlord arrived to fix it. Staple-gate 2012 happened. Delays and mishaps happen in the adoption process but our agency had never seen anything like this one. Our smallest dog rolled in ahem...something very pungent, and then routed around on my living room carpet. So gross and I just wanted to bleach it all..including the dog. I was gagging so hard my eyes were watering the entire time I bathed her. A toilet back-up of all toilet back-ups happened just yesterday..and again I gagged.


Today I got a two-fer. I had to get up early and take my 6 month old car into the dealership. The brake system warning light appeared on my dash (of my new car) this weekend...multiple times. It would light up then go out with no rhyme or reason (on my new car). Today was also my regular doctor appointment down in Mobile and I needed to have it checked before driving 2.5 hours away (in my reliable, no mechanical problems possible, new car). 


In the end, the dealership checked it, found that it's just a sensor and will fix it when the part comes in. They expect it to arrive tomorrow and the way today went, I'm betting that means next Monday. At least I can drive it in the meantime.


I ran by the post office, got stuff for breakfast for the boys, and ran home just in time to get them up and dressed. This was all by 8:45am. 


I wanted to leave by 9:30 so I could take the boys to a sitter for the day. As we were packing up their stuff, I asked Matt to put the dogs into their kennels. 


He suddenly appeared in the garage (where I was oh so patiently waiting and not yelling at him to hurry up....ahem..) and he said "MOM Murphy brought a bird into his kennel!" 


I asked him to repeat this because..well, I had an appointment to get to and I didn't have time for a freaking bird in the kennel. I came in to check and sure enough, there was a youngish bird, injured, oozing stuff I'd rather not think about, and chirping for it's life. It was injured and every time it chirped, Murphy would pick it up and mouth it, then drop it back to the floor. 


Nathan's eyes were as big as saucers, Matthew was giggling/asking me what to do, and I was asking HIM what to do (I swear I need mom of the year award). Our two little dogs wanted so badly to get into that kennel and get the bird. Murphy kept looking at me as if to say "what..see this bird I got..isn't it cool?" 


We kenneled the little dogs and got Murphy outside. I got a shovel from the garage (it was that or tongs and well, I didn't want bird bleck on my kitchen tongs). I scooped up the bird...chirping the whole time, and headed for the garage door. 


The injured, oozing, nearly gone bird hopped off of the shovel and started to hop away from me on the kitchen floor. I actually thought about how ridiculous this entire thing was while I chased the bird across the kitchen with the shovel. Somewhere in the back of my mind I imagined telling this story to Andy and knew that he'd find it humorous..which meant I was now mad at him for laughing (and yes I know he hadn't laughed YET, but he did, trust me).


Nathan's eyes were bigger and bigger. I loudly calmly instructed Nathan to get into the car and buckle..and not to move. I ran out of the house with the bird on the shovel, tossed it into the bushes knowing it was not long for this world, put the shovel away, and got into the car to leave. Nathan asked what I'd done with the bird and I told him the bird would be looking for its mother. 


Ho-ly cow. 


Life is never dull around here and fortunately, the mishaps are never anything life altering. But when you find yourself chasing an injured bird across your kitchen with a shovel, irritated that your husband will laugh, yelling at your kids to get in the new car that has to have repairs done...you know your husband is indeed, out of town.

New Skype session planned

While we wait for the document issues to be resolved, we learned today that we are scheduled to Skype with K again on Friday the 3rd. The beauty is that we will be visiting Andy for a few days at that time so we'll Skype all together for the first time. I can't wait to see her little face again!

I took the boys bowling today. They are ahem...a little competitive (nooooo idea where that comes from...ahem). Nathan was getting a good 10 feet of air on each throw so I had to shut that down. Matt was obsessed with the speed of each throw (thanks to the score screen..he could see how many mph each ball was). They bickered at the speed, how to throw the ball, who bounced it off the bumpers the most, etc...eventually I suggested they just look at the score and try to improve their own.

For the first time (that I've actually witnessed it), I saw them turn and look at me...mouths sort of gaping open, then they looked at each other, busted up laughing, and proceeded to discuss the speed of the last ball thrown. I'm pretty sure they just shared a "mom is so old and not in the know" moment. Part of me was happy that as brothers they have moments like that, just between them. The other part of me was horrified that they pretty much made fun of me with each other and didn't even have to speak one word. Just isn't right!

Staple-gate Update

So the latest is that we are sending the documents in question back to the county in question (Montgomery) and the adoption agency is going to be in communication with them. The agency will explain to the county why TECO refused the documents. They will ask the county to remove the staple on the right side (x9 documents)  and then write a statement explaining that they are the ones who "altered" the documents. Then we pray TECO will accept them.


Holy smokes it makes me tired just thinking about it.


However, if this works, then we can  move forward. Praying the county cooperates!!

Staple-gate

As I stated before, we finally completed the last leg of the great paper chase. We had things signed, notarized, validated at the county level, then authenticated by the Secretary of State...and sent it all off to TECO (Taiwan Economic and Cultural Office). They authenticate it all and sign off on it saying it's all set for the court process. It's the last big push on our end and I was thrilled to mail it on Wednesday.

Now when you talk to others or read blogs about Taiwan adoption, you usually hear about roadblocks in AIT (similar to a Taiwan embassy), or bumps in the road during the court process. From what I've read, you don't often have problems at TECO.

Then we came along.

Good ol' Cecilia at TECO happened to receive our package. Someone must have really ticked her off on the way to work because by the time she got to me, she was in quite a mood.

According to her, our documents (9 of the 21) were "validated incorrectly" by one of the counties here. By that she means this. When Montgomery County certifies that a Notary is valid, they attach a little half sheet of paper to the document. They place it over the Notary's seal/signature, and they staple it to the document...twice. One staple on the left, one on the right.

Before sending all of the authenticated documents to TECO, you have to make copies of at least one of each item for the TECO files (4 powers of attorney, make a copy of one of them...3 contracts with the orphanage...copy one of them). Imagine copying a notarized, authenticated document that has a piece of paper stapled to it and since it's stapled on the left and right, you can't fold that paper over. Thus, the signatures and the notary are covered up on the copy.

When making the copies I had a feeling this wasn't right, but I checked with our agency and they agreed that while this was strange (the other counties didn't do it this way) it was okay to complete the copies and send them in.

Cecilia didn't care for this one bit. She also insisted that since I can't read Mandarin, we should have attached an english translation of the contracts (contracts with the orphanage and written in Mandarin) and that translation needed to be signed, notarized and authenticated. She expressed concern that we knew what we had signed.

She then said we needed to make copies of alllll the documents...all 4 powers of attorney, all 3 contracts, etc... I explained that I followed the instructions of the TECO website. She later said that the website was wrong and she'd have to see about changing it. She really got to me when she said "So I'm going to have to stand here and make all of these copies for you and it's going to take a long, long time to process this paperwork."

I asked her to send it back to me and I'd make the copies but she passive-aggressively said she would do it herself. I was upset and she kept insisting our agency doesn't know what they're doing.

She suggested removing the staple and I about had a heart attack. You can't verify a document and authenticate it and then remove staples and re-attach it. That's tampering with it and the Taiwan courts don't like that. It could stop the whole process if she did that!

Redoing these documents, notarizing them, authenticating them, etc....while Andy is in another state would be a nightmare. I pray we don't have to do this.

I hung up and called our agency.

The exec director Laura immediately called Cecilia. From what I understand they had quite a conversation. Cecilia kept saying "what the family SHOULD have done was..." and she argued about how many copies, and the contract in Mandarin. Laura tried to get to her supervisor and discovered he is on vacation.

The topper was that she wants to change the TECO website (regarding the copies) but she stated she can't make a decision about the copies. Laura pushed further and learned Cecilia doesn't even do the authentications. Her boss does! She's an admin person!!!

Of course, Laura has helped over 300 families adopt from Taiwan and NEVER, not one time has something like this happened. Apparently TECO is always a pretty easy part of the process in her experience. Someone should have warned her the Shanahan's always make it interesting.

In the end, Cecilia overnighted all of the papers to our agency. Laura is working on a solution and sounded like maybe she had some trick up her sleeve. I know she has some idea about resolving this and had a call in to her own Sec of State to see if her idea might fix this by working with the county who did this.

This is all because of a document that TECO keeps a copy of in their files. The originals all go to Taiwan! I keep brainstorming ways around it but for now I'm trying to be patient.

What a high we were on Tuesday after our Skype session. A good, wise friend described it tonight as a scene where it's all going perfectly and you get a glimpse, a taste of what it will be like, and you feel closer to K...then Cecilia jumps in front of you and says, whoa, hold on...not just yet. It feels exactly like that.

I am reminding myself that for whatever reason (I may never know why), this delay is happening and it's because God's timing is perfect and I need to trust it. I was JUST reading in my Bible last night and was comforted and reminded of one of my favorite verses.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6

Praying that we get good news tomorrow!

What an intro to Skype!

Our agency contacted us at 3:30. The orphanage in Taiwan said they were going to have a translator available and they wanted to know if we'd like to Skype tonight with our daughter. As if it was even a question! More later!


UPDATE:
I can't put into words how awesome that felt! We got to speak to her (and a translator) for almost an entire hour. She is sweet and beautiful and everything I would hope for. She was excited to "meet" us and was very engaged. It was SO awesome to hear her voice and ask her questions. She referred to us as her "new mommy and daddy" and asked a lot about "my brothers." It was surreal actually. 


Our agency had prepped us (in the 2 seconds we had to prepare) that we shouldn't assume she knows a whole lot about us, or that we are to be her new family. We had to be careful not to insult the foster mom or overwhelm K with too much information. But man, she didn't hesitate to jump right in with family labels. She's obviously being prepped and that is something we pray for nearly every day. It was heartwarming to see. 


Her American name in school (something they commonly do) is Linda. She wrote out "Linda" several times, colored it, showed us a picture she'd drawn for us, and even sang a couple of songs. Part of me wished I could reach through the computer and hug her and explain that she didn't have to "perform" for us. But I know that she's being prompted on their end and she's just trying to engage us. It was sweet and it just melted me!


She told us she likes to talk (just my kinda girl!), that her favorite foods include hotdogs, french fries, broccoli, sausage, chicken, and rice. Her favorite color is pink, and her favorite toys are dolls and Barbie. I almost jumped for joy..I can SO do Barbie and dolls! We showed her the bedroom that we've prepared and she seemed to really like that. She then asked where she would sleep. Through more conversation we learned she sleeps alone in her own room now and I explained that she had her own room here. She said okay, and then asked if she could sleep with me instead. Um, YEAH!


I'm not even remembering it all, but it seemed to fly by and they called a little earlier than we anticipated so I didn't have a video set up. I'm bummed about that but it's why I want to note it here. I don't want to forget anything!


Andy in Louisiana was able to be part of the whole thing. I'm SO thankful for that too! As we signed off, she blew kisses, said she loved us, and asked how long it would be until we'll be there. Oh how I wanted to say "I'm headed there now!"


One last bit. She specifically asked to speak more to her brothers. The boys, funny beings that they think they are, proceeded to introduce her to "the guys." It's this (and forgive my undignified, motherly, girly response), but it's this stupid thing they do with their hands. It's almost like a puppet but their "guys" talk, do prat falls, shoot things, fly, make jokes, pass gas, etc... It's lovely. So the first conversation they have with her, they show her "the guys." The best part was that as they raised their little hands and started to show her "the guys" I heard Andy quietly say "oh no..." Lol. So funny!


What an amazing day. I'm so thankful for the technology that enabled us to spend time with her. Most importantly, it was tangible evidence of our prayers being answered. She's happy. She seems well taken care of. She knows about us. She's excited about the adoption, and is as ready as any 6 year old could be at this point. I pray about all of that constantly...I'm just elated at all of it and so thankful tonight.